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I've run out of lies - help!
It's supposed to be 65-70 degrees today (Friday). This could be the last
decent fishing day until next April, unless you think fishing in goose down
clothing is pleasant. I need a good lie for the home office, so I can take
the day off. I've used up all the really good ones. I need some ideas before
7:30 AM Eastern time. The author of the winning idea gets three of these
things: ~Thank you. |
Doug
Nov 4
2005
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| Suffering from a case of superior recto-cranal insertion. It might sound
bad, especially the 'insertion' after the recto reference, but in
laymans' terms, it can be translated into 'my boss has his head up his
ass". |
DownTime
Nov 4
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| Hmmmm - I wonder - did you ever work for me? |
Shortwave
Nov 4
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| Have you got ma'tilde, or did she run away to Venezuela? |
Harry
Nov 4
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| You're awarding tildes? Grand Jury duty
Customer carrot inventory
Rectal fissure removal (AKA Fritz,Herring,Hertvig or, simply Dave)
Penile girth reduction or prepping for your conversion to Judaism (oy!)
Urinal tract reaming (big sympathy on this one)
Breast reduction or enlargement
Bailing my son out of jail
Busting up a local meth ring
Annual day spa trip
You've been indicted
Your baptism or Rebirth
Chance to meet Pat Robertson, Robert Schuler or Franklin Graham
Jogging with Al Sharpton
Trying out for Martha Stewart's Apprentice Show or Jeopardy
Attending the fire department's fundraiser featuring Bobo Feel free to use unaltered or edited to your satisfaction. jps |
jps
Nov 3
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| Here's all you need to do. Pick up the phone, call work and say the
following: "It's going to be a nice day, I'm tired and need some R&R so kiss my
rosey red patootie, I'm going fishing". |
Shortwave
Nov 4
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| "I've got a mild case of the dreaded sun disease and can't make it in
today because it is contagious." |
Harry
Nov 4
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| Wrong approach. Don't think about separate lies. The right approach is
to develop a recurring illness that you can use regularly. Say a
digestive problem. Complain about it regularly, so that everyone knows
you have a bad stomach. On the days you do show up, they'll think your
great. "Damn, he's working all day, and with that stomach of his." Then,
there will be the days it is just too much to make it in. ;-) |
thunder
Nov 4
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| Yes. Tildes. I got a million of them here. |
Doug
Nov 4
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