OT - Fishing Contest  ;-)

Once upon a time, long, long ago there was a Presidential election that was too close to call. Neither the Republican presidential candidate nor the Democratic presidential candidate had enough votes to win the election.

Therefore, it was decided that there should be an ice fishing contest between the two candidates to determine the final winner. There was much talk about ballot recounting, court challenges, etc., but a week-long ice fishing competition seemed the (manly) way to settle things.

The candidate that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. After a lot of back and forth discussion, it was decided that the contest would take place on a remote and cold lake in Wisconsin. There were to be no observers present, and both men were to be sent out separately on this remote lake and return daily with their catch for counting and verification.

At the end of the first! day, George W. returns to the starting line and he has 10 fish. Soon, Kerry returns and has zero fish. Well, everyone assumes he is just having another bad hair day or something and hopefully, he will catch up the next day.

At the end of the 2nd day George W. comes in with 20 fish and Kerry comes in again with none.

That evening, Bill Clinton gets together secretly with Kerry and says, "I think George W. is a lowlife cheatin' son-of-a-gun. I want you to go out tomorrow and don't even bother with fishing. Just spy on him and see if he is cheating in any way.

The next night (after George W. comes back with 50 fish), Clinton says to Kerry, "Well, what about it, is George W. cheatin?'"

"He sure is, Bill, he's cutting holes in the ice!

A long time Reverend that has lived in the city for all his fifty years gets a transfer to a northern church far away from any city. He is pretty exited about the move as he has always wanted to go fishing. It was early January so he visits a sporting goods store to get all the latest ice fishing gear before his long trip to the northern town.

He gets himself settled in the small town and decides that he would head out for some ice fishing that afternoon, so he packs up the car and heads out to go fishin'. He drags all his equipment out to the ice and assembles the gas powered auger and readies himself to pull the ripcord when all of a sudden he hears a low and droning voice from what seems to be coming from above "you won't catch anything there". The reverend looks up toward the heavens and wonders a bit? He moves himself a short distance to what seems a good spot and just as he goes to start the auger he hears the droning, soft, low voice once more "you wont catch anything there". GOD? Is that you? No answer. So the Reverend moves a short distance once again and proceeds to attempt another borehole, putting his hand on the starter cord the voice once again drones out the same phrase..."you won't catch anything there". The reverend asks "is that you God"? Somewhat disturbed and in amazement he hears the voice utter softly "No, it's me, the arena manager". --  Steve

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Needless to say, Kerry for President in my house.

Rich P

I know it was an OT post, but don't get me started. Bush is America poison.

Sorry, I just thought it was a funny joke.

Bill Clinton was arriving back to the White House from a trip to Arkansas with a pig under each arm. A secret serviceman greeted him.

"Nice pigs, sir!"

"Thank you. Though these are no ordinary pigs -- they're Arkansas Razorbacks! I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea."

"Nice trade sir!" ---

Warren

Jeff

......I'm sure most of ya'll've seen this by now said Huck

....who ain't seen this yet? asked Huck

"Rich Pierro" <sharpa@comcast.net> wrote in message news:lO-dnTNNqpTU5I3cRVn-iA@comcast.com... That's funny Steve, it would imply that Senator Kerry is an idiot when anyone with half a brain can easily see that President Bush is arguably the least intelligent President in recent times and maybe of all time. If I'm under fire, I'll take Kerry to cover my back long before the ex-cocaine addicted alcoholic who can't say nuclear, Bush. BTW, this current administration has lifted many laws concerning power plants and mercury contamination (as well as other poisons) in our lakes and rivers nationwide, I hope no one out there is eating their catch! I don't believe corporations are bad, but Bush is in bed with the worst of them worldwide. We went from a budget surplus to the largest deficit in world history in a few years. We invaded Iraq without proof of WMD's. We've alienated ourselves from the rest of the world (which the US population is only 4% of), and ignored several other unsavory regimes with evil dictators who are killing innocent people daily because they don't have oil that can make Bush's cronies rich. This President has been a train wreck, and largely because of his decision making (or lack there of) I just closed my shop. Think hard about your conscience and your children's future, and my children's, before this election day.

Needless to say, Kerry for President in my house.

Rich P

I know it was an OT post, but don't get me started. Bush is America poison.

"

"Rich Pierro" <sharpa@comcast.net> wrote in message news:lO-dnTNNqpTU5I3cRVn-iA@comcast.com... That's funny Steve, it would imply that Senator Kerry is an idiot when anyone with half a brain can easily see that President Bush is arguably the least intelligent President in recent times and maybe of all time. If I'm under fire, I'll take Kerry to cover my back long before the ex-cocaine addicted alcoholic who can't say nuclear, Bush. <SNIPPED>

And Joe, for the record, I'd rather a man had the courage to change his mind based on the evolving climate of a situation. I seems unwise to me to set a course and put your blinders on and trudge ahead regardless of how changing terms can alter the situation. This world is constantly changing, every minute, and global leadership needs to adapt if we are to survive and prosper.

Plus, I feel strongly about the separation of church and state,being an agnostic.

Rich P

And Joe, for the record, I'd rather a man had the courage to change his mind based on the evolving climate of a situation. I seems unwise to me to set a course and put your blinders on and trudge ahead regardless of how changing terms can alter the situation. This world is constantly changing, every minute, and global leadership needs to adapt if we are to survive and prosper.

Plus, I feel strongly about the separation of church and state,being an agnostic.

Rich P

remember the word "humorous"....it was a joke.

steve

Steve

Sorry to hear about your loss and I hope things work out. My guess is though that would Bush and the administration's policies were not responsible for that. The economy goes in cycles. I do not believe any current president can really take credit for the state of the economy given that what happens was already set into motion prior to taking office. Also, if Al Gore had been elected, things might have been much worse after 9/11 from an economy standpoint as I do believe Bush's leadership (right or wrong) has helped to hold this country together. Bad decisions are always better than no decisions which is a trait I see from prevailing Democrats. In my opinion though, I think Bush has demonstrated exceptional leadership and made the right decisions based upon known information.

Regarding separation of church and state, what do you think that means? When you think of separation, who was the "architect" that defined this? It was Thomas Jefferson of course. Given that, here are some things to consider: - Jefferson attended church at a location with the largest congregration. That location was the Capital. - Jefferson did not like the music played during the service. So, he brought in the Marine Corp band. - Jefferson, while president, held a second job. He was the equivalent of the secretary of education. I do not remember the title. Essentially, he was responsible for public education. He required two books to be taught. Do you know what those were? It was the Bible and Isaac Watt's hymnal.

You may not like this because you are an agnostic, but too many people and the ACLU have completely distorted what was meant by separation of church and state. I could argue that not believing in God is a form of religion in itself and therefore, ignoring God in relation to the government is the ACLU's definition of violation of separation of church and state. We have freedom in this country to not be persecuted for our beliefs. I just do not believe that means we have to remove Christian values from our government on which this country was founded.

Jeff

 Randy-

Jeff

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