See Joe.... See Joe Fish....  Fish, Joe, Fish.

____Fishing With Charlie____

"See us fish," said Joe.

"See us fish on the nice boat."

"It is a Ranger boat." said Charlie. "It goes fast."

"Yes," said Joe. "It is a fast boat."

"Now catch a fish, Joe," said Charlie.

"Catch a big fish with your bait."

"I will try," said Joe.

Charlie said, "Look, look, look. I have caught one!"

"I caught a fish with the bait. See the fish!"

"Yes," said Joe. "That is a nice fish. It is a nice bass."

"Now it is your turn" Charlie said. "Wait! I have another fish."

"You are good." said Joe. "Now I will catch one."

"Oh, look. There is another fish," said Charlie. "It bit my bait."

"Yes," said Joe, "that is a very nice bass, too."

"It is not as big as the first one," said Charlie.

"No, but it is a nice, big fish," said Joe, "and it has a big mouth."

"Do you not want to catch a fish, Joe?" said Charlie.

"Yes... a very big mouth," said Joe.

"Wait. I have another fish. Will you lip it, Joe?"

"No. It is your dang fish. You lip it," said Joe.

"That is all right, Joe. Wait! Now I have another fish."

"I do not want to hear about it, Charlie," said Joe.

"Do you not want to catch a fish, Joe?" said Charlie.

"I will try," said Joe. "I will try again."

"Oh, my! Now I have a very big fish!" said Charlie.

"Wait. I will help you. I will hold the net for you."

"Watch out!" Charlie said. "Oh, you will hit my fish."

"You knocked the big fish off my bait!"

"Oh.... too bad," said Joe. "Better luck next time."

Charlie said, "That is all right. I have another fish on, now."

"My arm is getting tired, Joe. These fish are heavy."

"Help. Help. Help! Will you help me, Joe?"

"Shut up, Charlie."

*

Joe Haubenreich www.secretweaponlures.com First real spinnerbait change in 50 years! _______________________

But fishing on tv is different than in real life, isn't it?

One big difference was positioning. Not boat positioning, but positioning myself. I made myself dizzy trying to twist around so the camera would get my good side. (Charlie claimed that for TV, it would be my back.) Sometimes, when I saw the camera pointed my way, I attempted to strike the "Old Salt" pose..... body taut as a steel spring, alert to the slightest twitch of my line.... eyes sweeping from target to target... seeming to penetrate the water's surface to discern where the fish lurked in ambush.... squinting into the sun, tasting the breeze, and scanning the skies to keep in touch with the currents of nature swirling around us.... straining to hold my belly in the whole time.

Another thing that was different was trying to come up with something to say. When I fish, I usually just shut up or ramble on without really saying anything of note. But with the cameras running, the pressure was on to let drop an earthy phrase or two. You know... the stuff we've come to expect of TV fishermen.

Most the colorful expressions were claimed long ago ("Oh, son!" "C'mon in here, you fat-bellied joker, you." "What a hawg!" "It just don't get any better 'an this."), but Charlie Ingram is the master of country boy'isms ("I'm having mo' fun than a pig in slop') so I knew there would be pressure on me to hold up my end of the good ol' boy conversation as a native Tennessean.

I tried to recall what I'd picked up from Patrick McManus about talking like Hemingway. I thought that would be a good idea. He was ready with the right thing to say, but all I could remember was how hard I'd laughed at Pat's stories. I ended up making up and rehearsing a couple dozen phrases on the drive down to Alabama.

"Dag-nabbit! This ol' backlash looks like the cat done got in Granny's knittin' basket agin!" ... "Ah reckon them squirrels ain't much interested in spinnerbaits. Think I'll aim fo' the lake next time." ... "That ol' fish hit smacked maw bait like th'express train outta Huntsville! How ever did it slip that hook!?" ... "Well... so much fo' flipping around pontoon boats. Mind backing up so I can fetch my bait?" ... "Whoo-wee!.... that fish liked to jerk me right outta this boat!".

I then sprinkled them in my conversation, as appropriate, throughout the day. You never know when the camera will be running or something will happen that will make the edit cuts, so I pretty much kept up a non-stop patter of earthy sayings. Wore me out!

If I recollect, Charlie's favorite saying for the day was, "More fish... less talk."

Joe ____________________________ "Steve @ OutdoorFrontiers" <stevehuber@outdoorfrontiers.com> wrote in message news:U9%Td.8195$201.5609@fe06.lga...

I'm sure you held your own and did a fine job. We get OLN and hopefully I'll be able to watch, but I'll be on duty at the firehouse, so it all depends on how busy we are.

But fishing on tv is different than in real life, isn't it?

Warren